


Queen of the Dwarves

by potato



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:36:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potato/pseuds/potato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I think congratulations are in order!"<br/>Bilbo/Thorin. Humor. Ficlet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Queen of the Dwarves

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to FF.net like... 10 hours after the first movie was released in the EU.  
> I made up dwarf lore. Sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think congratulations are in order!"

"I think congratulations are in order!" Kili exclaims, hand nudging Bilbo's shoulder so hard he stumbles for a moment into Fili on his left. He straightens himself in time to see the dwarf look sheepish at both of them, though it's quickly washed away by a broad, excited smile that seem to be on the tad "too-much" side of things.  
At least in Bilbo's opinion.

"I'm sorry? ...Congratulations?"

The band of dwarves is moving slowly though the forest, most of them in the front with Gandalf and Thorin leading the way. Balin, closest to Bilbo, Fili and Kili looks over his shoulder at the questions with a resigned sigh that means he knows exactly what Kili is talking about.  
Bilbo glances at Fili to catch an eye-roll before being nudged back into the moment by Kili and a loud, wide laugh.

"No need to be so modes! Our hobbit, queen of the dwarves!"

Bilbo blinks.

"Queen?" Fili shoots in, a questioning tone to his voice. "I'd think he'd be king?"

"King? Thorin's king."

"Well- consort then?"

The dwarves stare at each other and Bilbo has the dizzying feeling that he's missed something. Something very important. Something very important that he should have been informed about. In writing. Preferably on a Sunday.

"Wait-wait...hold it!"

Bilbo's voice seems to cut though whatever silent discussion the two dwarves are having and they simultaneously look at him.

"Queen- I mean, consort, of the dwarves?"

"See?" Fili says, "Consort has a much better ring to it and it won't be confusin' when it's announced to the people."

Kili throws a hand over Bilbo's shoulder, the weight making him slump.

"And what an announcement it'll be! ...Of daring!"

"Of strength!" Fili chimes in.

"Of love!" Kili ends and grasps Bilbo's shoulder in a reassuring and firm grip. Bilbo has a sinking feeling about this. And it's not because he hasn't had his second breakfast this morning.

"Dwarves will be inspired by your courage, hobbit! I have never seen a dwarf offer his hand in marriage so valiantly as you-"

"-charging in to battle, when death is near to protect when you could have fled. That's what the olden dwarf customs used to be all about!"

"Not like now- gold, diamonds and rings, pah!"

"No, forged in blood and the promise of protection!"

They're smiling at him like he is the most precious stone a dwarf could have discovered in the mountain rock. Bilbo has a nagging feeling he's seen the look before, but it blends and disappears into the sudden horror of realization that he's accidentally, through jumping in and fighting off orcs, proposed to prince Thorin. And, the feeling drops to the pit of his stomach, by the state of things, prince Thorin must have accepted.

The memory of the mountain rock in the great heights of the sky and Thorin's eyes on him before pulling him into an embrace has the power to knock the breath out of him. Bilbo staggers and it's only luck that the group is slowly stopping ahead.

In the patches of sunlight that breaks though the trees, he sees Thorin ahead, speaking calmly with Gandalf over the small map. Thorin's eyes find him and there is a small, warm smile on his face that has Bilbo's heart picking up the pace and blood rushing through his body.  
"O-oh," Bilbo says in a breath that seems to be his last, before hitting the ground like a sack of potatoes.


	2. Our Hobbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and Thorin have a talk.  
> Sequel to Queen of the Dwarves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted to FF.net.  
> I think I missed the original train of thought I had with this.

Shadowy figures float above him as Bilbo blinks groggily awake. He registers voices and sounds that should make sense, but doesn't really because his head has decided that, no, none of this before his vision stops swimming, _thank-you-very-much._  
There is a moment where suddenly things become clearer, vision and hearing kicking in simultaneously, and the pitiful moan he lets out jostles the shadowy figures- _dwarves_ his mind supplies helpfully, into action.

“Give him some air!” somebody barks too close and it's prince Thorin, because his face is suddenly hovering in front of Bilbo's.  
There is shuffling and he is pulled into a sitting position by firm hands on his shoulders. Bilbo grimaces at the sudden tilting of his- well, _everything_.

“Master Baggins?” Thorin says, eyes full of concern and tone of voice loud enough for a person to penetrate another person's befuddled mind. Unfortunately, Bilbo's mind is becoming less befuddled and in no need of penetration, so the tone only serve to make him wince.

Thorin must have registered this, because his next word is soft and hesitant.

“Bilbo?”

“Ahhh, yes. Sorry about- well, that.”  
His shoulders are let go at the sign of him being in the possession of his own body again, but Thorin doesn't move away from his crouched position next to him. “The fainting. _Again_.” Bilbo explains.

Bilbo looks around himself and to his embarrassment finds that every dwarf (and Gandalf) is standing close, looking at him with worried expressions. Only two dwarves stand out from the rest, with twin expressions of guilt.

Bilbo is about to speak, but then-

“ _You_.”

Thorin spits the word out like it has personally offended him and Kili and Fili seems to nudge backwards as if he just spit flames.

“What did you say to him? Last I saw you were walking calmly and the next moment the hobbit is on the forest floor.”

Kili nudges Fili and they have a silent conversation that involves eyebrows, twisting of mouths and expressions and miniscule gesticulations at Bilbo.

After a moment they come to a decision, and Kili nudges Fili as a prompt to speak which earns him a small glare.

“Errr- Your higness, we only, _possibly_ , might have mentioned to the hobbit-”

“ _Our_ hobbit!” Kili interjects.

“-The custom of dwarvish battle... proposals?”

The whole lot goes silent and then explodes in chatter (Bilbo swears he hears Bofur exclaim that “Can hobbits even carry heirs??”) that has Bilbo pulling a face until Thorin puts an end to it all.

“ _Enough_!”

The noise ends since the company, in Bilbo's short experience, knows when Thorin means business.

“Set up camp. Kili. Fili.”

Kili and Fili stand up straighter.

“You get the pleasure of finding fire wood. Go.”

To their credit, they utter no protest in their haste to get away from the prince. The dwarves slowly scatter, leaving Bilbo, Thorin and Gandalf by the forest trail.

Thorin seems to be patiently waiting for the dwarves to be out of hearing distance. _So he can clear the whole situation up, nice and proper_ , Bilbo thinks with a strangled sense of urgency and something else Bilbo has no intention of examining.

After a long moment, Thorin looks at Gandalf, who has since Bilbo awoke, been sporting a small, amused smile at the whole situation.

“Ah-! And this, dear Bilbo-” Gandaf starts, leaning heavily on his staff to look down at Bilbo with a heavy sense of meaning. Why, Bilbo has no idea.  
“-is where I leave you to your privacy. Be brave.”

With his final words, he hobbles off towards Oin who has his newly replaced ear-trumpet conspicuously aimed in their direction. Gandalf gives the horn a slap with the end of his staff and sends it sailing into a bush in the opposite direction, to the loud protests of Oin in addition to Bofur and Bombur, who were, as much as Oin, relying on it to listen in.

The complaints are instantly lost to Bilbo as Thorin turn to face him.

“Master Baggins.”

The dwarf gets to his feet and offers Bilbo a hand which he accepts. He sways to a standing position, though the experience is very much the same as sitting down: His bottom is still leaf-covered and he still has to look up to see Thorin's face.

“My apologizes for Kili and Fili. They have the tendency to take take things too far.”

“Well- that's a relief,” Bilbo laughs weakly, brushing leaves and dirt off himself as a distraction, “Proposal by combat- I should have known.”

“I am not sure where they heard tales if it.”

Bilbo stops brushing his back-side for a moment and frowns. Thorin makes it almost sound like-

“...what you mean to say-”, Bilbo says, pausing and licks the dryness of his lips, “-is that it is a real tradition? A-a real proposal?”

“Between dwarves of the older traditions, yes.”

Thorin looks strangely accepting of this, Bilbo thinks fleetingly. His heart is beating quicker, and he is half-afraid of feeling faint again- but there is something different. Something he vaguely recognizes from the moment he had decided to go on an adventure, that early morning in the Shire.

“So- if, if I had been a dwarf, you and I would have been,” Bilbo hesitates, “you know ... _proposed_?”

Thorin pauses, “You would have to declare it after the action.”

He hesitates, “And I would have had to accept it. ”

Oh. Of course. Right.  
Bilbo knows his face must have been broadcasting his thoughts because Thorin blinks once and looks as startled as Thorin Oakenshield could ever look without being in battle.

“Bilbo. You are not-” Thorin hesitates again, and Bilbo must be suffering from the fall he took, because he can swear he sees Thorin's cheeks pink slightly.

“You are not _my_ hobbit.”

Thorin must have realized how that sounded because Bilbo can't keep his face from turning red and his eyes from widening.

“What I mean- You are not mine to take,” Thorin continues quickly, “as much as Kili and Fili would have it, you are not _our_ hobbit.”

“You are Bilbo Baggins of the Bagginses of Bag End and cannot belong to a dwa- to dwarves, who does not belong anywhere.”

“Well-” Bilbo grabs at the words and the same feeling is there like when he was desperately grabbing for clothes, parchment and food, hoping that the company of dwarves weren't too far off.  
“I do believe I signed a contract that-”

A pause.  
His hearts starts thumping like he's running though the fields, jumping fences, paper in hand.

“-That states that I am in fact- Yours.”

Thorin's soft, surprised smile is enough to make him dizzy.

Bilbo licks his lips nervously and can't decide if to keep his hands hanging off his pockets or hanging by his sides, the nervousness building until it escapes.

“If I ask again, will you accept?”

Thorin leans forward and down, close enough to lean his forehead against Bilbo and the small, private smile is all Bilbo can see.  
Bilbo feels himself growing warm.

“If you ask.”

Behind them, Bilbo faintly hears the questioning tone of Fili.

“So is he the consort _now_ then?”

 

**The End**


End file.
